By Melody Carlson

Sliding into the Rabbit Hole… could She Ever Return?

On the skin, Alice Laxton turns out no various from the other collage lady: brilliant, inquisitive, interested by the lifestyles sooner than her. yet for years, a genetic time bomb has been ticking away. due to Alice’s near-genius intelligence, lecturers and counselors have regularly made excuses for her “little idiosyncrasies.” yet in the course of a stress-filled senior yr in school, a brand new global of voices, visions, and unexplainable “knowledge” motives Alice to start to lose her grip on reality.

As Alice’s schizophrenia progresses, she studies a stressful non secular “awakening,” believing that God and angels and demons are talking to her. while others try to intrude, Alice is subjected to a variety of “treatments” much more scary and painful than her illness.

Powerfully uncooked and brutally sincere, Finding Alice is a narrative of person affliction and desire, a family’s shared ordeal, and a look for actual psychological and religious healing.

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Pale green licks of light pulsed and faded across it. Living lights. Their fires lobbed over, higher, higher, then died out in blackness. At times the whole sky was ringed in shooting points and puckers of light gathering and falling, pulsing, fading, rhythmical as breathing. All of a piece. As if the sky were a pat­ tern of nerves and our thought and memories traveled across it. As if the sky were one gigantic memory for us all. Or a dance hall. And all the world’s wandering souls were dancing there.

For she was the definite most-hard trial to anyone’s endurance, even when they started out with veils of wretched love upon their eyes. I was that girl who thought the black hem of her garment would help me rise. Veils of love which was only hate petrified by longing— that was me. I was like those bush Indians who stole the holy black hat of a Jesuit and swallowed little scraps of it to cure their fevers. But the hat itself carried smallpox and was kill­ ing them with belief. Veils of faith! I had this confidence in Leopolda.

King hardly noticed my weight. He pushed her lower. So I had no choice then. I jumped on his back and bit his ear. My teeth met and blood filled my mouth. He reeled backward, bucking me off, and I flew across the room, hit the refrigerator solidly, and got back on my feet. His hands were cocked in boxer’s fists. He was deciding who to hit first, I thought, me or Lipsha. I glanced around. I was alone. I stared back at King, scared for the first time. Then the fear left and I was mad, just mad, at Lipsha, at King, at Lynette, at June.

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